Thursday, September 8, 2011

Bee Mine

Born yesterday, already old and demi-wise, Bumbly hovered above the wide black strip of earth, admiring it's sparkling surface and double yellow stripes. It was the shrine of the Worldwide Bee, it had to be; the shrine was said to circle the planet bringing the color of the Bee to every corner of the earth, not that any bee had ever lived long enough to find out for sure. Perhaps, Bumbly was just the bee to make myth reality; perhaps the world was smaller than it looked and if he'd just fly east he'd be back to this very spot in no time with amazing tales to tell.

Bumbly lifted his little bee head and tried to imagine the distance to the horizon. It was hard to count the blades of grass considering he had a hundred images to choose from. (The multi-faceted eye thing made life more difficult at times, though it sure was fascinating seeing the queen in a hundred different birthday suits at a time...hubba hubba.)

"Well gosh", Bumbly said at last, humming a little tune to go with the words; "If I'm going to be this hive's Beegellan, I'd better get moving, I need to be back before sextime or the queen will have my stinger."

And with that, Bumbly Bee began his voya...

WHAM!

A bee stung me a few days ago; or should I say, I was party to a mutual stinging, biker style. I'm not sure his name was Bumbly of course, but I do know he lost his stinger cuz I pulled a black fishhook out of my shoulder and I think it had "If found, please eulogize Bumbly!" written on it.

I don't like dem bugz and day don't likes me. I now have a lovely embossed map of Antarctica on my right breast, with little blue lines pointing to the early spring crevasses and a great big lump signifying the very spot Jacques Cousteau took his last leak on the South Pole.

If only Bumbly would have asked I could have told him; if you're gonna circumnavigate the earth to prove the existence of the Worldwide Bee, you have to fly West. If he'd had his pollen together I'd have hit him square in the eyes rather than his big, Bumbly ass, saving me the dribble of poison and a week's worth of scratching like a dog with fleas. Thank God elephants don't have black and yellow stripes, I don't think I would have made it through that meeting.

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