Saturday, May 19, 2012

Answers to Ashes, Dance to Dust


As if I could make a difference I offered sanctuary
from the cold,
from the dark,
from the beatings,
from him as it were
or a dozen hims if need be

She accepted my shield for a time
and though she sometimes tried to ply me
I took no payment
Wanting nothing, but her safety
guardian
not replacement

But she returned each time
the bruises and excuses
demanding this fool be fooled this once
and next once, whenever that came
That I might leave well enough
alone

The months turned to years turned to decades
As if I could make a difference she reached out to me
pleaded
asked too much and I pulled back
the years had not been kind to either of us
I had nothing left

She may have killed herself
she may have been killed
either way I helped spill her ashes
she asked too much and I pulled back

and I will always painfully regret my cowardice

as if I could have made a difference.

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