Saturday, June 16, 2012

Once Gone, Not Forgotten


Crushing silence blankets me, the sound of one voice ever stilled
a tearswept longing memory; a crashing surf, a mourning chilled
he hadn't but a peasant life, a day to day carnivory
his tongue, an ever dulling knife; the weapon of his misery

But there were times when he would smile and laugh his aches and pains to dust
when yesterdays so brittle were forgotten, hope replaced unjust
when all my admiration and my love could surface without taint
debated knowledge passed between, the choice for us to reacquaint

A friend, one true, in spite of flaunts of parent/children power game
a vision of myself in hue, our sameness haunts; his fears, my shame
I've not since found a better heart, a man to which I can aspire
within his anguish lived a lion, a phoenix from the burning pyre

He left too soon, or so I think, though he was ready for the trip
his thoughts were on himself I'm told, and not our harried fellowship
but here he left me wanting more; another day, another lash
I'd give my eyes to hear his roar, to see his grin, to calm his thrash

For he made marks upon my soul, some good, some plain, some little scars
well, bruises come with playing hard upon the mental monkey bars
but what endeared me most was that he never turned a calloused eye
he had the time, he made the space for friendships with those such as I

The years have passed and I still pine, I've not replaced that weekly chat
I've not an ear to spend my whine, nor any place to hang my hat
I miss him, more than e'er I thought while watching him draw final breath
he's still my mentor, and my friend, in spite of his untimely death

If I'd had choice at birth I might have picked myself a myrmidon
a perfect man, a pillar strong. But surely I was issued one.
And through the years we had our times where bricks were better understood
but somehow we found common ground, a niche to share our brotherhood

If I'd the chance to start again I'd spend less time on sad regret
he gave me what he had, his best; What else was there I thought I'd get
he spent his back, his mind, his heart and asked for little but respect
Thank God I gave him that at least; I'm not a fool in retrospect

The darkness looms, the air is stale, the seconds turn to hours at times
this loneliness my holy grail, the lack of color in my rhymes
for such a man as this I fear, will ne'er again draw forth my light
his lack of presence calls my tears and burdens me this somber night

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