Friday, July 20, 2012

Sinchronicists, Repent

Made Up Word of the Day


N sin krun is' itee

The practice of committing two or more cardinal sins (capital vices) at a time.
* Sinchronicitous Adjective
*Sinchronicitist Noun

eg: Jeff was known citywide for a tradition of sinchronicity. When the police arrived at Jeff's home, called there by a neighbor complaining about loud noise, they noted a television blaring vulgar audio. Weaving their way through stacks of Wonder Woman comic books, empty pizza boxes, beer cans, National Geographics opened to pages showing naked natives, chip bags and a few dozen hula dancing girl bobble heads, they stepped into the great room where a horrid stench announced Jeff's departure to afterlives unknown. Playing on the 65 inch flat screen gold encrusted hdtv was a porn film, "Debbie does Dunkin' Donuts". Above the set was a full length mirror, obviously positioned so that the viewer might shift his attentions from debauchery to self admiration. The walls in either direction were smothered in framed photographs, each a different neighbor couple, each having the husband of the couple "x'd" out and the words "I want you baby" written on the wife. Jeff's body was sprawled on the couch, covered in vomit and cracker crumbs. Judging by the 2 dozen open bags of taco chips, the vacant 6 pound box of cheddar cheese curds, the 34 now empty take out plates of Hooters hot chicken wings and 3 quart blue cheese dressing container... he had created within himself a giant gas ball which eventually blocked his esophagus, causing him to die by internal asphyxiation, just before finishing the book "America's Great Sinchronicitists, from Mark Twain through GW Bush."

No comments:

Post a Comment