Friday, September 14, 2012

Mama Sang Bass, Daddy Sang Tenor

I remember it as if it were yesterday; like the moment I first saw Regan in "The Exorcist" turn her head all the way around and shoot fake vomit across the room, or when I saw one of the "13 ghosts" glide across the stage in "Illusion-O!".

I was driving my mother to some event downtown when on the radio, the dj started talking about some survey noting the most unusual places people had experienced sex.

"Daddy and I did it in a rocking chair once."

I nearly screamed, then, choked back the vomit. The thought of my parents having sex organs at all, much less having sex, much less adventurous sex... it almost made me blind.

"Yea, like I wanted to know that" I said, my voice solid and deep despite my insides being disgruntled and quivery.

"I was talking to the radio" she said as if that were any better line than the one I'd use when caught shoplifting; "honest, I don't know how it got there!"

"You're going to hell you know" I said.

"Oh relax" she said; "parents are human too."

It had never ocurred to me. I still think she was exaggerating. Not about the sex I'm sorry to say. Just about parents being human...

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