Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Accoutrement Dreams









Cozy was more than a little envious. For three years now, ever since she’d come off the knitting needles and was placed near Stove, she’d watched the birds fly past Bay Window in the widow Glickman’s kitchen.  “If only I too could fly” she’d whisper to herself on days when the widow was nowhere to be seen, “then I would know true happiness!” And now one of the kitchen accoutrement had found the secret to flight!

“It all started one day when Widow Gert fell asleep at the table when Pot was just about to boil” said Clancy Teapot Cover. “Pot boiled and boiled and whistled as loudly as he could to no avail. Finally his whistle just up and broke, and the steam built up inside him until it pushed me right out of Pot’s rim and into the air, where I hovered for what seemed like an eternity! Well certainly it scared the Beejebers out of me, but in retrospect I learned I’d discovered the core of aerodynamic possibility and with that, taught myself to fly at will!”

The problem of course that the widow’s home was rather tiny and offered little room in which a flying thing might find “rompish glee.” Clancy began to sneak outside whenever Gert stepped through her door, and would fly to his heart’s content until the widow returned.


“Someday you’ll be caught” said Saucepan. “Yea” agreed Sugar Bowl, who normally would tend to silence but was fond of Teapot Cover and was afraid for him.


“You need a disguise” said Velvet Elvis, who’d found his place in the kitchen against the wishes of the League of Sentient Kitchen Accoutrement. “Perhaps Kitchen Junk Drawer has an idea!”

And he did indeed! Upon opening and allowing Nearly Useless Tiny Hammer, Good for Nothing Skinny Nail (and cousins), Almost Dry Superglue and Kite String to leap to the floor and run off into the basement where cardboard and wooden crapola had found a home, Kitchen Junk drawer shouted instructions to the group as to how to create a disguise for Teapot Cover that would surely fool the widow Glickman, and perhaps even anyone who might pass by the humble home.

The next day as the widow was preparing to leave the house for a little grocery shopping, Teapot Cover lept from the rim of Teapot and flew off to the basement, strapped himself into the disguise and flew back to behind his owner just as Gert swung open the front door and stepped outside.
  He zoomed outward, hovered a bit as he watched Gert disappear down the road, and then let loose, hoping the camouflage would stay attached and make him near invisible. As it happened, he’d forgotten the advice of Cozy, and had started his circling of the house in a counter-clockwise fashion, exposing himself and the very struts of his illusion to the windows of the little house where Gertrude would one day spot his charade and put a stop to it, most likely with a broom, or perhaps her long dead grandfather’s heirloom 410 gauge shotgun.

“Other way!” shouted Cozy; “Go the other way you idiot!” But Clancy the Teapot Cover heard nothing but the wind in his flange and the tiny whistle running through his emergency steam escape hole. It was good to be free, even if freedom went backwards.

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