“Rage? Will you please stand?” The headmaster of the Finishing School for Afflictive Emotions stood proudly, holding out Rage’s graduation certificate and a large red sash. Once Angie (her name was really Angry, but we liked to sing that Rolling Stones song to her cuz it really made her mad) reached the podium, the headmaster slipped the sash over her shoulders and proclaimed her “Ready for service!”
And then it was
my turn. I was afraid of what would come next. I wouldn’t get a red
sash like the pretty girl; I’d get some crappy color that no one else
“Envy, please stand?” There she was, holding out my certificate and a GREEN sash!
“Why can’t I have red?” I shouted; “Angie always gets the cool stuff, why do I have to have a sash the color of baby puke?”
cried, but it was a done deal, I had to go home in green. But I swear,
if it takes me my entire life, I’m gonna find a way to get that red
sash off of Angie if it’s the last thing I do!