Sure she was two stories up, but the fact is I wasn’t planning on doing anything but break her fall a bit. I mean please, the building was on fire and she wouldn’t jump! What was I supposed to do? If all that stood between her death and her living with a broken ankle or twisted knee was her getting up the guts to let go of the deck rail, you bet I was going to lie, or do anything else I thought would force her hand.
I’ll catch you!” Naturally she denied me on the first call. No one will
believe a stranger is telling the truth at first. “Please” I shouted,
“I’m not kidding! I’m a team gymnast and we do stuff like this every
I’d peaked her interest, but she still didn’t buy it.
“I’m too heavy” she called out, “if you try to catch me you’ll break your back!”
“No really” I called back, “I’ve done this before, you’ve gotta trust me!”
course I’d never done it before, and what she said made a lot of sense;
catching her would likely kill me, but as I said, I was just going to
be a cushion and slow her down a bit. Yet, she wouldn’t let go, and
there we stood, arguing, as if we had all the time in the world and the
flames weren’t creeping through the double glass doorway and onto her
platform. But no matter, that’s when the explosion took the decision
How would I have known she was storing a spare propane
tank under her gas grill? Hell, how would I know she had a gas grill, I
was just a passerby and standing 23 feet below her. Had I, I certainly
would have hurried the discussion along.
What were the odds I
would be blown back only a few feet, so as to put me in the exact path
of her trajectory. She flew like a rainbow and I was her pot-o-gold. The
moment she landed on my head I heard the snap, but I wasn’t sure what
the noise had meant until much later, after the dimensional shift and
relighting of the tunnel.
Now here I am in the “death by
Samaritanism” line, waiting my turn to see whether I am transported back
as a rodent, get my gaggle of virgins or meet Peter at the Pearly
gates. I can’t tell where I’ve landed for sure, the place is devoid of
icons, and it’s kinda foggy, like in the movies.
Oh and her? She
lived. Broke a rib. Spent 3 months bitching that if the stupid stranger
hadn’t gotten in her way she would have landed without injury. I hope I
go back as a rat; I have some plague transference to do.