Friday, December 7, 2012

Nibblin on Bacon, Chewin on Cheese

Thaddeus sank into the mud and sighed heavily. It was the worst of luck, a most humiliating turn of events. His newborn son… “ ‘e’s a mutant ‘e is!” The words of midwife Moll made him angry enough to chew his way through an entire forest, yet as his rank required, he just glared at her and let it pass.

He turned to his wife Emma and whispered “Our son’s not a mutant… is he?”

“Oh no silly” Em answered, “not at all. He’s just… sensitive! The doctor said in every other way he’s a perfect little beaver. He’s just…”

“Allergic to tree bark, yes I heard don’t say it again PLEASE!”

Emma nuzzled her man. “Don’t worry so precious. I called my cousin Samantha and she’s agreed to teach him her family ways if we approve. He’ll be much happier there I think.”

That was the last straw. Thad reared onto his tail, standing him six inches above his already imposing thirty two inch height. “No son of mine is gonna be a RODENT! He’s a BEAVER damn you all!”

But he knew, as he wandered off for the night, that it was the boy’s only option; and at sunset he gave Emma permission to start teaching him his cousin’s ways by singing him the anthem he would need to swear to follow… Muskrat Love.

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