Wednesday, January 9, 2013

In Love with an English Girl

I thought it’d be cute. Besides, I was kinda shy, so I figured I had to use my creativity to tell her I cared about her since I knew I’d never be able to just walk up to her and say it. So I did a poll, as if I were doing a science project ya know? I had this big piece of white poster board and some colored magic markers and I wrote this question…

If you suddenly found out that Biff Muttonson loved you, would you:

Dance for joy?
Seek counseling from a priest?
Find him immediately so you could run up and hug him ‘till he passes out from lack of oxygen?
Grab the old barf bag and make a deposit?
Imagine the wedding and begin to plan the honeymoon?

And then I placed it just outside her bedroom window where she’d be sure to see it in the morning when she looked outside to watch her birdfeeder.

The next night I snuck over to her house to see which one she’d picked, hoping against hope it was the first one! But no, she’d actually made a choice of her own, an answer I hadn’t anticipated. She’d taken her own red magic marker and drew a skull and crossbones atop my poll, under which she’d written the words, “piss off wanker!”

I have to admit, even though I was crushed, her text accent made me hot…

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