There's something about the sound a digital watch alarm makes that makes hair grow on my palms; it's something in the pitch maybe, or in the fact that it just won't SHUTTUP!!!!!
5:21PM each day I'm treated to a 60 second chorus of beep beep beep beep
while my wife acts as if I'm really not gouging my eyes from their
sockets. Months ago as we rode in her truck the chime called from her
wrist. After a dozen beeps I turned to her, quizzically cocking my head
and waiting for the inevitable; for her to reach down with her left hand
and shut the damn thing off!
"Well?" I said as a grin slowly
creeped across her still staring straight ahead face. She just ignored
me in her Linda way, saying nothing in response as if I had already read
her mind and now we were square.
I let the mystery go as the
watch stopped chirping and some Linda-like traffic move snatched my
attentions elsewhere. But as we walked into the house I raised my hand
and asked again..."Well?"
She laughed in her Linda way and
fidgeted, giving me ample reason to pursue the answer with everything I
had as it was sure to be mighty interesting at least, if it made her
She saved me the trouble of the inquisition. Like Stan
Laurel when confronted by Ollie over some silly manuever, she started to
speak too fast using too many words at a time in her squeaky Linda
"Well the first time it went off I just started hitting
buttons until it turned off and then I had to find the stupid
instructions and the print is so small it was hard to read but after
probably an hour I found out how to set the stupid thing and shut it off
I was encouraged by this news. She had read the
instructions and no doubt knew their location so she might peruse them
again if necessary. But I was too clever to assume we were done; she
wasn't finished quite yet.
"Then I bumped it one day and it went
off again, at least I think I bumped it cuz I sure didn't set it and I
couldn't remember how to shut it off but I knew if I just started
hitting buttons I'd shut it off now but it'd just come on again some
other time so now I just ignore it."
My lower jaw hung in midair
while I tried to choose between laughter and good natured abuse. My head
just instinctively rocked left, then right as it's done so many times
since we've married, and I found myself speechless for the first time in
a long time.
"You've got to be kidding" crossed my mind once or
twice, but this was Linda, the woman that navigates by tall trees and
other landmarks that change with the seasons; I knew that once she'd set
her mind to something, it would beep until the cows came home.
since I've badgered her at 5:21PM as often as we are together and
within range of her fifteen dollar casio alarm, and we've had many a
good laugh over her torture device driving me insane. I was extra proud
that my wife, the woman I chose to spend the rest of my life with, was
one of a kind; a most unique woman with the most clever quirks
A few days ago she came home with a story to tell and
just couldn't wait for me to settle into a chair before beginning.
She'd taken a night's work at a county park to play a witch during a
children's halloween party; And as she stood talking to the other
characters, she heard an annoying beep coming from within one costume.
eyes turned to the young girl who was sounding like an oven timer until
the woman next to her laughed and said, "Don't worry it's not a bomb.
My daughter bought this watch and somehow the alarm got set and we can't
figure out how to turn it off....so we just let it beep every day at
7:17PM until it stops."
Ok, so I have the only wife who's watch goes off at 5:21PM-cst. That's still unique isn't it?