Thursday, January 17, 2013

Johnny on the Spot

“Listen” said the fetus, “I’m not coming out until my demands are met!”

“But you’ll kill your mother” God said, “No child of mine would deliberately kill her mother!”

“Well there ya have it grandpa” answered the fetus. “Either I’m taken care of or I grow so big this woman explodes!”

God replied softly, “Alright, what is it you want exactly?”

“I want a guarantee that when I go through this life and then die and I’m reincarnated, I come back as a winged horse!”

“Kinda jumpin’ the gun aren’t you? Don’t you think you might change your mind one day? Besides, life is not about guarantees!”

“Still” the fetus said with a sneer ”it is what it is. Now write me that contract!”

“Well child, you have the wrong deity anyway; you want Buddha I’m afraid, but here, I’ll connect you.”

Somewhere a phone rang. (Atop a mountain most likely)

“Buddha’s office, Dalai Lama speaking, is this the angry fetus?”

“It is buster, now fix this problem for me or I swear I’ll…”

“I’m terribly sorry, or I would be had I done anything incorrectly or if sorrow wasn’t a wasted emotion; you see we’re all booked up right now, we’re not taking reincarnation reservations at the moment. I can though transfer you to a deity that can straighten out your crooked path if you would be willing to skip this lifetime altogether and jump directly into the winged horse aspect.”

“Well… HECK YES! I hate it in this sweaty womb. Let’s get the ball rolling! said the fetus.

“Alright madame, I’ll transfer you, and thanks for flying Buddha.”

Somewhere a phone rang. (Quite near a giant flying eye topped volcano if I’m not mistaken)

“Hello, Johnnygod Tolkein speaking. A winged horse you say? What a delightful proposition…”

And so the Rohan Pegasus was born…

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