Sunday, January 13, 2013

The High Price of Incivility

For the prompt: perfume

The court of Erik the Melancholy could never be called anything but civilized. and it was not simply left up to chance; oh no, why the king’s own collection agents would prowl during large gatherings, watching for any and all uncivilized behavior. A case in point:

Master Harold Beettender, a minor landowner from the county of Hoggswill was once chatting with Lady Smatteringly of the Pendulous Breast, when he suddenly began to rant about his latest mistress.

“She’s foul! That’s what she is! She has lain with my brother! And he’s a married man!”

“But” said the Lady of the Breast, "you too are married Harold!”

“Yes” said Harold, “but that’s different!”

At that moment the King’s accountant barged into the conversation.

“I’m terribly sorry M’lord Beettender, but that will be two crowns.”

“Two crowns? Harold sputtered. “Two crowns for what sir!”

“You were fuming M’lord, and the King’s tariff is 2 crowns per fume. I trust you will simply pay me and relax your jaw at this point so as to not suffer a 3 crown, 6 pence howl of outrage!”

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