Saturday, June 8, 2013

Cement Mixer

Some days my brain is like a cement mixer and my body, the truck. The mixer spins around doggedly, full of words, lots of "the's" and "and's", maybe a couple "antipithy's" and "diaphragmatic's" and perhaps even one "Zoroastrianism" bumping around between a pair of "zwieback's"... All day it churns, even overnight; while the speed may vary as the subconscious motors are an undisciplined lot, the barrel still turns round and round 24/7. Then when I need a few words I back my carcass up to the nearest pre-built form, lower the delivery chutes from my shoulders (upon which sits the cement mixer) and a fine slurry of words comes pouring from their cranial confinement, through my fingerholes and into the light of day.

Once in a while they blop out in the exact order I'd have put them in had I been inside the barrel feeding them up a conveyor one by one...it's like the arms drop, the head opens up and out comes the goop, and presto... instant intellectuality! It's amazing how that works, I can't figure it out no matter how hard I try; it's like they'd gathered up knowing that someday there might be occasion to be used in their particular order, and when that occasion comes...poot! Out they come all dressed and ready to be understood. If you think that's really weird, imagine how I feel, it's my head they're in!

Of course there are times, more often than not I'm afraid, when the blather gets really close to setting, and suddenly I notice some jerk scratched "Billy hearts Suzy" or like once I accidentally troweled a big knobby stick into my lovely word block, screwing it up and making a fool of myself. Then out comes the hose and the rake and the freaking floater and I have to yank it all up before it's hard and start all over, smoothing it out as best I can. (Though we all know everything's best the first time, it's never quite the same after it's been "fixed")

But sometimes, in that rare ethereal state when the universe aligns, the mixer spins at light speed and all words phone home for pre delivery instruction... then they come out as smooth as a silk worm's butt, not a single trowel over needed. And I just stare in amazement as if I'd just seen breasts for the first time, you know, that tingly kind of amazement. Well ok, maybe you don't know. Work with me, it's pretty amazing.

Of course, a certain percentage of those times the glop comes out and hardens into something resembling silly putty rather than concrete. But I gotta be happy it comes out at all, some peoples heads don't churn and the stuff hardens cuz they never dump it out. I think that's what they call a blockhead. That's as opposed to anal retentive. That's a whole different problem, though it's the same kinda goop that causes it.

Some times I just babble, because I can.... and there aint nuthin you can do about it.

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