Fear pounded his gavel three times and called out, "Intellect, if you would bring the meeting to order please, some of us have to get back to work before the host awakens."
"Alright people let's get to it."
Intellect stood so that he might look down on the others; an annoying
trait to those who could recognize an act of superiority in action. "Let
the fifty first annual meeting of the Ronsense Society begin! Madame
secretary, please interview each member in order to discern our host's
Touch nodded and walked toward the chalkboard,
her overstated, hip heavy gait eliciting more than one whispered
"Taste! You stop that sexist blather right
now or I'll flatten your nodes!" Touch said as she whipped around and
pointed her digit directly into the tongue of the most egregious
"No harm meant miss" Taste replied with a smarmy chuckle; "I was just admiring your umm, circulation."
dramatically sighed as if a steam locomotive at a water tank. "Geez I
hate when braniac does that" Hearing whined to Sight; "He's supposed to
be the smart one here, why can't he just run these damn meetings rather
than pretend like he's above it all."
"Enough with the infighting
children" Insight said; "We have a serious problem and if we don't
solve it together, we could all be in danger."
"Well said Six!"
Intellect applauded his roommate, the sixth sense; "the host has been
morose for some time now and could possibly be headed for suicide, or
worse, public drunkenness. We need to rectify his mood or suffer the
consequences associated with late night vomiting and uncontrollable
"Man I get bloodshot just thinkin about it" said Sight;
to which Taste laughed aloud...
"Bloodshot?" he said cynically; "Spend a
night in my shoes at the foot of the porcelain god. Trust me eyeballs,
Taste and vomit don't mix!"
Hearing began to sneeze as a flowery
scent wafted into the room, the perfume carried by a soft breeze. In
the doorway stood Smell, her little black nose bobbing up and down as
her head turned this way and that, acknowledging her compatriots each in
turn. "There's only one answer boys" she purred; "Humor will get him
through this rough patch, you've got to appeal to his sense of Humor."
group began to talk amongst themselves. "Yea, just where is Humor
lately?" said one. "Humor schmoomer, what the hell's wrong with me?"
said Taste; "Get the guy to buy a case of Hostess Twinkies and I'll
change his mood for ya pronto!"
"No Twinkies" shouted the
custodial crew Bloodstream and Bacterium. "Mood alteration by sugar high
is inefficient and potentially dangerous, not to mention messy at a
"Alright hold up now" Intellect said as he pounded
his gavel for silence so as to shoosh the collected senses and assorted
affectations. "Humor, what do you think; can you make him let go of
Seriousness so you can squeeze into the psyche and give us all a rest?"
set down his beer, pulled out his compact mirror and checked his makeup
before speaking. "Do I have floppy orange clown shoes?"
"Yes" The crowd muttered.
"And orange curly hair and a red nose?"
Taste laughed and the crowd followed. "Why yes you do." The audience cheered as Humor rose to his floppy orange feet.
"Well then stand back people, cuz Humor's gonna take control of this helpless host. I'm off to kick some Serious ass!"
And the crowd roared as the host giggled in his sleep....