Monday, August 26, 2013

Cleft This



It was Bob's first meeting as the new creative director, and things weren't going well.
"So what do you think the fee would be to use the song Rock of Ages in this spot?"

We all just stared at him a moment. Then I chimed "You mean the hymn? I have to imagine it's public domain, I'm sure it'd be free; but why would we care?"

Bob smiled, in that "I know something you don't" way that immediately says he knows nothing but his brain is working overtime to put it together.

"The product name is Crunch right? So we tag it 'Crunch of Ages', like it's been on the earth since the beginning of time! And we use that song as the jingle which would certainly attract the ears of the right wing zealots who probably don't use the product at the moment, increasing our market share by branding created name recognition alone!"

He was absolutely incompetent. We would need to work around him, all the while convincing him that whatever we come up with is his idea. But first, we needed to rid ourselves of his current mistake.

"Crunch of ages, cleft for me; Let me gorge myself in thee!" I sang an entire verse of nonsense, assuming he'd get the point. He stopped me cold. I breathed a sigh of relief. He called for a secretary that could transcribe what I was singing as I created it. We were doomed.

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