Sunday, September 29, 2013

One Last Kiss Before I Go

Perhaps the kiss wasn't my best idea, but I had to do something dramatic to get her attention; I didn't want her thinking I was just giving her a hard time to see her sweat. 

At first her face lit up a little, and while I couldn't read it exactly, I had hope that she was pleasantly surprised. But as she turned away and her brow furrowed and her hands started that churning thing she does, as if she's scrubbing a few layers of disappointment off her fingers, I knew my life as a lover had ended.

"I'm sorry Cathy, I should have just talked it out you know? I just... well, I love you, you know? More than a sister, more than a friend. And I just had to say something, the suspense was killing me, I've gone through a whole roll of antacids in the last few days." I smiled weakly, I'd tried to break the mood but to no avail.

She didn't lift her eyes; her expression didn't change one iota. Not a good sign.

"I can't think right now, I need some time alone ok? Call me when you get home or, maybe, later tonight."

I nodded and silently turned toward my house. As I stepped away she whispered, "I’m sorry."

It took a month to walk two blocks; I couldn't have felt more alone. I was sorry too, for everything.

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