Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Alphabet Project K through N

K is for Keira

Oh distant love I must protest your recent lack of pulchritude
I fear you’ve made me sad for you, ne'er lusting in my heart
I’m hoping you’ll accept a gift from this well built yet humble dude
I make a lovely mincemeat pie, let’s chubby up your parts

Your lips, oh God, your lips are like the finest silken blanket nap
Your eyes are like two robin’s eggs, two pearls, except in blue
But lately dear your arms appear like toothpicks wound in plastic wrap
your legs, if I may call them that, seem jointed, pink bamboo

I worship you each Knightly, or I have until my latest view
I like my goddess visible whilst sideways on the screen
Oh Keira now I beg, I plead, do eat some food that sticks to you
I want to still adore you but I swear I see your spleen!

L is for 'literation

Laura lectured lengthily on leech and lime laced lizard lures
As Lynn had lizard longing all her lame, lackluster life
Laura leveled “lofty lizards live on lovely, lilac land locales
So lull the little lunkheads with a layer of loosestrife!”

Lynn laminated loosestrife buds and left to locate lizard lane
She loaded up her limousine with leashes, lamps and lunch
From ladylike libations Lynn had lifted lacerated limes
With lattice lugged through Lipless lake, she’d leeches by the bunch!

Lots of lively lizards lumbered later, to the leech/lime lures
Lynn lunched on leeks and lungfish, as they leapt into her cage
Loquaciously she loved them, as the loosestrife lapped their scaled largesse
They’d soon be beasts in charge at Lynnie’s Lizard Lounge and Stage.

M is for Medication

I have a little secret, oh I spose it’s nothing huge
There’s lots of folks that share this thing, a dark self subterfuge.
I analyze and worry; I’ve a dismal attitude,
so I need a medication, and that drug, I fear, is food!

If I’m smarting from embarrassment, an apple pie will do.
A bag of taco chips can help if I’ve been dissed by you.
For straight intimidation I need meat, like t-bone steak.
If stress consumes my being, I consume a carrot cake.

For anguish I need lots of stuff, like cinnamon on toast;
and chips and dips and jerky strips and crab cakes from the coast!
Rejection is a 6 course meal, divorce, a three day gobble.
A family death, a side of beef, two deaths, I start to wobble.

It wouldn’t be a problem save I’ve reached that magic place;
my scale’s run out of numbers, I don’t recognize my face.
I need to be more happy, I must crack the sadness code.
Cuz if I’m mopey one more week, I swear I will explode

N is for Narcissism

I must tell you how I love you, you’re the first name on my list
Of all the men who’ve slapped my back and all the girls I’ve kissed
you’re my bittersweet surrender, you’re my Champaign tainted cork
You’re the tasty stuff from yesterday that’s still stuck to my fork

There are those who think you’re snotty, cold, abrasive, glib and vain.
They’re just awestruck by charisma, you’re so cool it brings them pain.
I would swear you’ve been great deities in former, lesser lives;
And if worship equaled marriage, you would have a million wives!

It’s your voice I find like butter, and your arms I see as steel;
And your legs of fleshy pulchritude that make the young girls squeal.
You’re so perfect, I adore you; you’re a luscious potpourri,
Made of vast uncommon character; you're I, Myself and ME!

Voice Version

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