Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Skinny on Hippos



She was a most peculiar hippopotamus
she wasn’t fond of swimming holes at all
“If I can’t see the ground it’s likely bottomless!”
she wrote into her testimonial

As hippos go Couisette was quite a skinny girl
she had no taste for eating all those greens
she said “I’d like to give a chocolate pie a whirl;
perhaps I’d fit more snuggly in my jeans!”

So off to California with her lady friends
Couisette the skinny hippo sought her pie
and though the taxi driver couldn’t comprehend
he’d only ask “to where” and not “but why”

‘Twas in a coffee shop in busy Hollywood
the girls discovered slices of French Silk
and while they ate, an agent, Miss Unlikelihood
bought all the gals another round of milk

She said “Ms Hippo, you’ve a shape that fascinates,
In zoos the hippos always seem so fat!
You’d be an inspiration! And we’d compensate!
Just say, To hippos, skinny’s where it’s at!”

She signed the agent’s contract and received some cash
the animals got rooms at Motel Six
At dawn Couisette delivered hippo balderdash
At night she’d party down with LA chicks

Poor Couisette developed habits that would take her down
She couldn’t get enough of chocolate pie
and soon her thighs were all the talk of tinsel town
the studio cut off her pie supply

That only made her cranky and as we all know
a cranky hippopotamus is bad
she rampaged for a chocolate bar on Oprah’s show
the toughest interview poor Oprah’s had

The studios decided that they’d seen enough
that hippos, although skinny, are too wild
They sent Couisette and friends a crate of chocolate stuff
and said “the contract’s void! We’re reconciled!”

I spose you wonder what the moral here could be
(a moral’s much more special than a grin)
so here’s my bit of wisdom given happily
even hippos can’t eat chocolate and stay thin

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