Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The Making of a Country Song Writer

Deer Diearee

My dog died today. She was a good old hound. She was chasin a squirrel and ran right into a light pole. Kinda knocked her whacky so she stumbled out into the street where a kid on a bike ran into her and killed her dead. Now the kid's parents are suin me. That wouldn't be so bad but I got fired today. Called in to the boss and said "my dog died, I need the day off" and he says "how many dogs you got?" and I says "just the one, and she was a good old hound", and he says "didn't she die a couple weeks ago when you had to take a day off cuz your dog died?" And then I had to explain that the other time I was kinda lyin cuz I really needed to go to the doctor but I didn't want to tell anyone cuz it was for hemorrhoids and who the hell wants to admit somethin like that... and then he says "you're fired" and that was the end of that.

At least it's not as sad as when momma died a few months ago, chokin on a chicken bone. Even that wouldn't have been so sad if daddy didn't jump off that bridge screamin "I just can't live without your mama!"

Mavis left me today. She said she was only stickin with me cuz she liked my dog. That wouldn't have been so sad if she hadn't taken all my stuff outside the trailer and lit it on fire before she drove away. I guess she was mad about somethin. Even that wouldn't have been so bad if the wind didn't come up and blow my blazin work shirts that I don't need anymore cuz I was fired, into the trailer window, lightin it on fire and burnin it to the ground.

At least I got my truck. Course, the transmission don't work. But I can drive in first gear wherever I need to go; and who cares about all those jerks that flip me the bird on the highway anyways? I pay my taxes too! Though I won't be payin any till I get another job.

Maybe I'll become a country music writer! I wonder how far it is to Nashville, and how long it'd take t'get there in first gear!

Thanks Diearee. I find writin in you so catharctick.

Yrs truly,
JT Simmons

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