Tuesday, May 6, 2014

A Call to 'Arms

‘ello ‘ello, might this be the ‘arms residence?

The Harms residence, yes.

Aye, tha’s wha' I meant surely. This is ‘arry ‘ornswaggle from ‘artfordshire England calling, representing the Bri’ish Isles Sign Company. ‘ave you ‘eard of us then?

No, I’m afraid I haven’t. And I doubt I’m interested in any s..

Wait a moment sir! I’m not ‘ere to sell you anythin’. I’m calling to offer you a free gift! A sign of your very own, made to the exact specifications your local municipality uses when designing their own road signs, only this one has your family name on it, and of course a roadway delineation, like, say, Bleaker would be followed by street!

My own sign eh? Free you say? What’s the catch?

There is no catch really, all we ask is a pho'ograph of you and one of our representatives standing in your drive, under your sign, that we might 'ave a record of your sa'isfaction to show possible future clients.

Alright then, I’d agree to that. Why don’t you make it, hmmm, Harms Boulevard!

Well no, I’m sorry but the name’s already been chosen. You see, we were so sure that you’d love our free offer we took the liberty of 'aving a sign pre-made for you, and now will only need to install it at your leisure.

So what’s it say exactly?

‘arms Way. It reads ‘arms Way you see, Isn’t that clever? You’ll be the envy of your neighbor’ood!

You want me to stand for a picture to advertise my driveway is on Harms Way?

Well, yes, tha’s the spirit!



*dial dial* *ring ring*

‘Ello ‘Ello, is this the Easy residence?


  1. I say, old fellow. We Brits don't all drop our aitches, tha' knows.